ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
