I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
