Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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