Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
