You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
