So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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