Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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