She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
