Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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