I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
