Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize