Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
