you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
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Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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