Porn is love you can see.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
