What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
