Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
