i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
