Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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