Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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