I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
