if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
