just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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