took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
