Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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