I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize