I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
