WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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