you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
