Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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