so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
