Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
