The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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