I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
