it was like his penis was on wheels.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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