so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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