'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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