this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
