my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
