My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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