South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
