all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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