i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
