I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me