If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette