cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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