Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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