the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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