it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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