You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize