I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize