somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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