I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
