He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize