You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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