The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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