some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
