In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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