The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
