dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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