Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
