I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
