Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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