Walk of Shame. In a state park.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
