Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
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U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
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You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
These tits shall not be calmed
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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