I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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