I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize