It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
