This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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