What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
