Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Did I show you my penis last night?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
