Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
